I re-watched 'Dawson's Creek' for the first time in 20+ years.

I first watched 'Dawson's Creek' when I was 10 years old. That was pre-teen me. Innocent, clueless, and with a lust to experience the teenage world. I remember falling madly in love with Pacey Witter - manly, caring, and cute - and wishing I would grow up to be just like Jen Lindley - effortlessly beautiful, fashionable, and wise beyond her years. I was so obsessed with the show, I even took notes while watching it, typed the script in our clunky new computer on MS-DOS, and saved it into diskettes. I even bought the original soundtrack and the books, and I remember reading them to my sister on our bunk bed at night.

I hadn't watched 'Dawson's Creek' again since then, though. I never got the DVDs. I never made an effort to stream it. I never even thought about it much. In fact, I completely forgot the show existed until I saw it on the 'Coming Soon' section on Netflix. The nostalgia sank in, the butterflies fluttered in my stomach, and I watched it the minute it came out. Here's what I discovered:

They didn't sound the way that I remembered.

When Dawson Leery first spoke, I was a little shocked. I didn't remember him having that kind of voice. And then I realized we lived in Germany when I was 10 and we watched it dubbed in German. That's right. I never watched 'Dawson's Creek' in English. Lol. It took me a while to get used to how whiny everybody sounded; and to be honest, I was a bit surprised by how whiny everybody in the show was, in general. Was Dawson always that annoying? Was Joey? I remember my sister loving Joey back in the day... but why?

I grew up to be nothing like Jen Lindley.

As much as I adored Jen, I didn't grow up to be like her. You'd think that if you idolize someone, you'll do your best to be more like them... but that clearly isn't what happened. In fact, I didn't even grow up to Joey. I grew up to be... Andie McPhee.

It's sad to admit that while watching her on the screen now, but she is me. I am her. I can't find a single thing about Andie that I cannot relate to. I was a nerd. I was obsessed with getting good grades and I applied to a gazillion colleges... not because I wanted to go there, but just because I wanted to see if I could get in (this is a toxic trait I still have to this day). I even have a gay brother!

And then there's the mental illness. 'Dawson's Creek' sucked at portraying mental illness (and homosexuality while we're at it) to be honest, but the fact that she had one hit far too close to me. I just wish I had someone like Pacey, too. Though the way Andie ended up handling that... I can already see how things might've panned out for me if I had a Pacey of my own.

I would probably date Dawson in real life.

I loved Pacey and I still do now that I'm rewatching it. But let's be honest: a geeky Spielberg-loving filmmaker with a room that looks like all of the rooms I've ever had? Dawson is the geek of my dreams. He just needs a new haircut.

'Dawson's Creek' touched on so many issues.

All I really remember about 'Dawson's Creek' - the title song aside - is that it was fun to watch. I never remembered it as a "serious" show. In fact, whenever I talk to people about coming-of-age series, I always talk about how much I miss 'The OC' and 'One Tree Hill' because they portrayed the sad realities of teenage life well. It turns out 'Dawson's Creek' did that, too. They've got everything in there: wild sex lives, peer pressure, divorce, scandals with teachers (lol), suicide, homosexuality, mental illness... though I am still just on Season 2 at the moment and that's when I realized...

I never finished the show.

This makes sense, really. We left Germany a mere year after 'Dawson's Creek' first aired. I was 12 and on the verge of experiencing real teenage life for myself. By the time we moved to the Philippines for my first couple of high school years, I was so immersed in the transition to teenagehood and discovering boys and first kisses and first heartbreaks that I didn't make time to watch shows on TV anymore. I am in the second half of Season 2 at the moment and have no idea how this show is going to pan out.

I hope Pacey doesn't get back together with Andie, though. He deserves better.

Investing in jewelry pays dividends.

Precious stones, gemstones, and jewelry have always been connected to human culture since time immemorial. These beautiful adornments continue to hold real meaning and value. Throughout the course of history, jewelry has been offered as a trophy, an amulet, and sometimes, even art. It perfectly symbolizes love, a celebration of milestones, and of course, the ultimate representation of wealth.

The line between jewelry and money has always been intertwined with each other. To this day, jewelry continues to be used as currency, inheritance, and investment. But investing in jewelry requires the right knowledge and responsibility. It is a wise and valuable asset to have as it continues to grow in value every year. In fact, many investors prefer investing in jewelry more because it is less risky than other markets.

Interestingly enough, while the value of the world’s currencies constantly fluctuates, gold, diamonds, and other precious metals and stones, on the other hand, has remained stable. Despite the many global economic downturns, including the current pandemic that has severely affected the world’s economies, the value of jewelry has held strong.

Though the price of gold, gold jewelry, diamonds, emeralds, sapphires, and other gemstones and precious stones also fluctuates, its value however has never truly depreciated significantly. Their value continues to steadily appreciate over time.

“What’s beautiful about investing in jewelry is that it is timeless and its value does not diminish. Real jewelry becomes more valuable over time and it is a great investment asset to have as it pays dividends in the future,” said Tyzianna Teves of Just Jewels.

From November 23 to 29, 2020, Just Jewels, one of the country’s highly respected stores of real and authentic jewelry, will be holding their Bright Beginnings Black Friday Grand Sale on Facebook, www.justjewels.com.ph, and at all the Just Jewels branches nationwide. The Grand All Out Sale will likewise guest Sofia Andres in the Facebook Live selling event on November 23, November 27, and November 29. There will also be raffle prizes, games, and many more exciting activities for the attendees.

For more information on the Just Jewels Bright Beginnings Black Friday Grand Sale, visit www.justjewels.com.ph.

I haven't written a sad post in a while.

I haven't written a sad post in a while. I checked. Although I have written many an angry post in 2020, I hadn't written a sad one. The last sad post that I wrote was back in September 2019 when my dog died. So coming to this space wine-drunk to type as tears run down my cheeks feels a little strange and unfamiliar. But here we are. Sad and heartbroken. Lost and alone.

The other day, I received a message that bore some unexpected news, and I found myself paralyzed in my seat. I was in the middle of writing an article, but my fingers froze as I stared at the iMessage notification at the top-right corner of my screen. And the tears just flowed. They didn't flow silently, either. They came with that weird and awkward hagulgol sound; but since I didn't want to alarm my family or explain the sudden outburst of sadness, I ran to the bathroom and scream-cried into a towel instead. Not my finest moment, I have to admit. But it happened. I'm not entirely sure where it came from. I mean, I know where it came from, but it was a place hidden so deep inside of me that it came as a surprise.

A quick backstory: I've had the worst luck with men. I've dated douche after douche after douche; and when I do start talking to someone I might like as more than a casual thing, I get hit with the "I'm not looking for anything serious" card or the "I'm scared of commitment" card or the (my favorite) "Do we need to put a label on it?" card. No, we don't need to put a label on it, sir; but I would like to know where I stand. Am I a friend with potential or am I just a friend with benefits?

To be honest, this never really bothered me before. Casual dating was my thing. I was a very social and drunken girl pre-COVID so I didn't really have the mindset to dwell on things too much. Heck, even during quarantine, I dated a douche and felt absolutely nothing afterward.

So when I started talking to you (again) and I found myself constantly checking my iMessages to see if you had sent anything and I found myself thinking of you whenever I saw certain memes or certain food; I didn't say anything. I didn't want to admit that I was getting what they call *shudders* feelings. I didn't have feelings. Some people would even say I didn't have a heart. Some guys would even say I merely used them for sex. And yet there I was, scream-crying into a towel in the bathroom.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not in love with you or anything. However, for the first time in three whole years, I could actually imagine myself being in a relationship again. You know, doing the whole pet name thing. Posting someone's face on social media. Bringing someone to family gatherings. Introducing someone to my friends. Geeking out with someone about movies. Having someone I could pig out with and workout with - ahhh, the perfect balance. You got me. You understood me. And I really wanted to see where that could have gone. But that's not happening anymore.

Given my international background, meeting people who can understand me and the way that I am - blunt, carefree, and annoyingly unclingy, unjealous, and walang pake - hasn't exactly been easy. I have lived here for a decade now and I've only met two guys I could really, truly connect with on every level. You were one of them. And the idea of having to let you go before we even had a real chance at anything stung quite a bit. Okay, a lot. Not quite a bit.

But it's okay. Really. I'm all for supporting your dreams and seeing you grow and witnessing how you achieve everything you want to achieve. But it still sucks. I did like you for real, after all. Even though I was in denial and downplayed it all the times when I talked to my friends, it became pretty clear just how much I liked you when I cried in the bathroom.

Maybe this just isn't our time (even though this was already our second chance after I screwed up the first time). Maybe it's God's way of telling me that I have absolutely no chance of finding love in this country. Maybe it's His way of telling me it's time to pack up and leave. Or maybe I'm just destined to be alone. I'm so tired of being alone now, though. You've made me realize that.

I want to have someone to turn to when I have amazing news and when I have bad news. Someone who will cheer with me when things go well at work and who will comfort me when something unfortunate happens. Someone who doesn't pester me all day long, but still makes me feel important and wanted. Someone who doesn't just see me as a mere option, the last resort, a booty call, or a casual fling.

It's funny because I've been avoiding relationships like the plague for three years now, and now here I am, practically longing for one. Maybe not with you particularly (though I think that could've potentially worked out if we had tried - not gonna lie), but you've made me realize that I need and want something more than what I've been getting in the past three years. I just wonder if it's even in the cards for me at all.