Saturday, November 19, 2022

Shutting out the noise.

It's not an exaggeration to say that, as depressing as it was as a whole, the pandemic actually changed my life for the better. It gave me time to reflect on what's important and it allowed me to truly tap into my full potential as a person.

It also allowed me to eliminate all of the negativity in my life - both at home and in my social life. I moved out and look at that: no more meds or therapy. I stopped drinking every single night and trying to find validation in all the wrong places. I've cut my social circle by a million and have become very selective about who I share my time with. So when even the slightest petty issue pops up nowadays, it's an automatic ignore-and-block situation for me.

As Edward Furlong says in one of the best movies of all time (American History X), "life's too short to be pissed off all the time." While I'm not an expert at it yet, I'm learning to surround myself with people who make me a better person. Who, instead of fanning the flames when I'm having a bitch fit, act as the Natashas to my Hulk. Who, instead of pushing me to open up and telling me to man up and get it together when I'm having a mentally unwell day, simply send me memes and videos to uplift my spirits, and let me know they're there when I'm ready.

I've learned to choose my battles and block out unwanted noise. And I'm not sorry for it. I now fully accept that I can't control how other people feel or react nor can I make them listen to or believe what I have to say. I can say my piece and still be secretly hated for it, so what's the point in even trying? It's a waste of time, a waste of energy, and quite frankly, a waste of space in my life.

There's nothing wrong with cutting people off, especially as you get older. If they no longer make you happy, if they start to become abusive, if you don't feel a void when they're not around... just cut them loose.

In fact, I've learned that losing people opens up precious space in your life for other people who are more deserving of you. As your parents may have told you, you're a precious little snowflake. Don't let other people make you feel or believe otherwise. x