Friday, September 29, 2017

"You have no power over me."

There are some people in the world who, no matter what you do, simply have a strong hold over your heart. For me, that person is you.

No matter how much I tell myself that you're strong and independent… that I don't need you… and no matter how many times I drown my body and mind with smoke and booze, there's still that little tinge of you in my being - a hint of the warmth of your breath on my skin and a ring of your whisper in my ear. 

Very little things inspire me lately. The things I used to wake up in the morning for and the things I used to plan my world around have faded into the darkness that has consumed me yet again. I have no will to work. I have no will to eat. I have no will to live. And yet, whenever I see your face, I feel like I'm alive again.

I thought I was over you. I thought I had moved on. But every time I see your smile, every time you call my name, every time I see your name on a screen; my heart simply aches with longing. It aches and then it races and then my breath quickens and I lose my breath completely and struggle to think clearly. How did I get here? Why did I let you in like this?

And so I sit here in the middle of a crowded coffee shop with my face in my hands and tears on my palms, wondering why I am feeling this way.

"Protect your heart," a friend said. "Obviously, your head is a lost cause." But how can I protect my heart when it has been with you all this time?

And now a random smiling shot to lessen the emo:

WATCH: The Trailer of Marvel's The Punisher on Netflix is Full of Awesome Gore and Violence

At AsiaPop Comic Con 2017, I was lucky enough to have gotten first glimpses of several of the awesome things that Netflix has in store for us in the near future.

The 'Stranger Things' stuff aside, one of the best things I was able to witness that APCC weekend was the trailer of Marvel's The Punisher, which will be coming to the Netflix app later this year. While there is no official release date yet, the trailer looks AWESOME - with all of the gore and violence you'd wish to see in a Punisher series, really.

In case you haven't seen it yet, check it out here:

I have loved Jon Bernthal since his role as Shane in 'The Walking Dead' and it was great to see him again in 'Baby Driver'. Now, he'll finally get his own series - and deservingly so.

I gotta admit: as much as a DC lover that I am, the Marvel Netflix brand is incredibly hot right now, so not knowing exactly when The Punisher will lift off is keeping me at the edge of my seat. While we wait, though, I'll just keep re-watching the current Marvel Netflix series. Which one is your favorite so far? :)

For more information, you may like Marvel's The Punisher on Netflix on Facebook and follow them on Twitter and Instagram: @thepunisher #ThePunisher :)

Monday, September 18, 2017

Are you gonna stay the night?

All it takes is one night to remind you of all of the things that you miss in life, to show you the kind of person that you once were - the kind of person that you wish you could be again.

Last night, I felt things - things I thought I wouldn't be able to feel again. I felt like I was taken back through time to re-experience a life I used to have and boy, did it feel good.

See, I used to be a party girl. I used to go to music festivals and drink alcohol like my life depended on it. I know that kind of lifestyle isn't fun for everyone - and to each their own - but I used to have a hell lot of fun in those days. All of that changed due to unfortunate circumstances.

Last night, though, as the magic of Zedd and his throwback songs flooded through my veins like a drug, I felt like I became that person again.

As songs like Clarity and Stay the Night pumped through the speakers, I recalled all of those feelings that I felt in 2014 and 2015 - all of those feelings of longing and passion and the inexplicable need for closeness. Little did I know that as the night progressed, those feelings would progress with it.

It all feels pretty surreal, really - like it didn't happen to me, but to somebody else. Like I didn't touch that skin or kiss those lips. Like it was all just a hazy dream masked in a heavenly scent of perfume and the familiar taste of a childhood treat.

And yet as surreal as it feels, I know it was all real coz I miss every moment of it. I miss every toss and turn, every giggle, every awkward question, and every sideward glance.

With my head throbbing and my eardrums bursting, I spent the beginning of my day just thinking about it and reliving it, all the while knowing and realizing that in a few hours, I'd be heading to a meeting for work here in the real world. (Yes, on a Saturday.) That all of those moments were but a blurry glimpse and that this so-called maturity and contentment are what's real in the world.

This is who I am now - a little older, thinner, healthier, and less of a rage monster than ever. That's supposed to be a good thing, right? Then why do I feel so empty all of a sudden? Ah, the power of Zedd…

(Massive thanks to Ovation Productions for having us at Road to Ultra last night! Thank you for the feels! :p)