Friday, April 25, 2014

Superhero Complex

I have a superhero complex.

I'm not sure if this is an actual real-life condition; but in my head, a superhero complex refers to this intrinsic need to help other people out. I'm not sure when it started, but I'm pretty sure I've had a mild case of it even when I lived in Bangkok.

Anberlin shirt from the 2010 Anberlin concert / plaid cover-up from Forever 21 / distressed leggings from Romwe / sneakers from Pony

The first superhero complex case that I remember here in Manila, though, is when Ava was looking for a BlackBerry cassette-themed case and then again when she was looking for a certain newspaper. After that, everything just kept piling up. "Oh, you want that dress? It's your birthday soon, right? Let me get it for you." "Oh, you need a basketball? I haven't used mine in ages. Have it." "Oh, you need knee support? I've got some GCs you can use." You get the picture.

Quite recently, I tried to help someone out again, but things didn't work out quite as planned. That person ended up getting really disappointed and for a few days, I felt like a complete failure. I beat myself up over it. I talked to other people endlessly about how I could have done better, how I could've tried better and how I could have gotten the job done if given another chance.

And that's when it hit me: this wasn't even my problem to begin with… so why was I stressing out so much? Why did I give this person the power to hurt me when all that I wanted to do was lend a helping hand?

While I truly believe that this superhero complex is part of my nature, I have to admit that making other people happy isn't as easy as it used to be. Yesterday, I felt like I no longer had the power to make people happy, in general. I felt like, no matter what I did, it simply wasn't enough.

Today, however, someone reminded me that I don't need to try and make people happy. I can just be me and get the job done just as easily. And the people who don't find happiness from the way that I generally am simply aren't worth my time and effort.

When making people happy starts to feel like an actual struggle, it's time to stop. When they don't show even an ounce of gratitude or appreciation and you end up feeling worse than you did in the beginning, it's time to stop.

Being a superhero in the real world doesn't require being a superhero to the fullest extent. While there is nothing wrong with helping people out when it makes you feel good about yourself in the end, never let people walk all over you and make you feel inferior.

Coz I haven't done this pose in a while. XP

On the flip side, if somebody saves you in one way or another, do not forget to say thank you - sincerely and genuinely. Even if they just tried to save you but failed, the point is that they tried. Even a small amount of appreciation can save their heart from breaking. Keep hearts intact. Say thank you. Appreciate. :)


  1. I guess we all have a superhero complex in some ways, but not all people are willing to give out enough effort like you do. I agree with your friend, don't beat up yourself just because you weren't able to make someone happy. It's totally not your fault, whichever side you look at it. Even if you might not get appreciated, just think of it as 'charity work' of some sort hehe! At least you tried your best to help, that's what matters :3 You have a kind heart Angeline, don't feel bad just because some people doesn't see that. :)

  2. So true! Thank you for this reminder. :) I guess I needed this. Thank you, you ARE a super hero!


  3. You can't please everybody but if they do not know how to appreciate your effort. Then, you're correct. They are not worth it. You already did your part. :)

    Smile Ms. Angel. :)