Tuesday, April 7, 2020

I miss all of the things I took for granted.

The enhanced community quarantine has been extended for another two weeks and I don't know how to feel. I am aware of how lucky I am to have a roof over my head and to be with people that I love, but I'm also missing a lot of things in my life that I never thought I'd miss. Things I used to complain about have become things I am suddenly promising never to take for granted again.

I miss waking up all groggy and annoyed because I have to go out and get chores done in the morning. I miss walking and sweating in the heat to drop off the laundry and then walking to Starbucks to get some morning cardio in just to replace all of the calories I had just burned with some sugary sweetness from my favorite coffee shop.

I miss buying lunch for my dad or snacks for my kid, and waiting in line for a tricycle because the sun has become unbearable. There are no tricycles now. I can't even go out for cardio now without being told off by the guards.

I miss picking up my daughter from school and asking her about her day. I miss hearing her tell me about her boyfriend and how he slipped her love letters during break time, which is the only time they see each other since he's a grade higher than her. I am homeschooling her now.

And while she was initially unbothered by all of this because she says she can talk to her boyfriend on Messenger without being awkward, she is now showing a complete lack of interest in the boy. This is no doubt due to the fact that they don't see each other anymore (and definitely a trait that she got from her mother).

I miss going to work events and meetings, and meeting new people in the field. Although I used to complain about the time I had to get up and about the hours I had to spend on the road to get to places, I wouldn't mind a roadtrip alone with my thoughts in the back of a Grab car right now. We've been having video conference calls every week since the ECQ started, but it isn't the same.

I miss the kulitan in the "office" and seeing how much people changed in appearance every other week. I miss getting hungry, guzzling down caffeine like my life depended on it, and planning out our night after each meeting. I miss falling asleep in the back of the car out of exhaustion and a lack of sleep, and waking up to food and beer pong afterwards.

I miss drinking. Boy, do I miss drinking! I miss holding an ├╝ber cold bottle of beer in my hands. I miss receiving random free shots when we least expect it. I miss holding a bottle of tequila an inch above my mouth and feeling it trickle down my throat until I feel a wave of heat in the pit of my belly.

I even miss drinking while the sun is still up and crying and whining with a friend about the pettiest things. I also miss getting last minute invites to go out by my demonyo friends. And I miss beer pong. Man, do I miss beer pong!

I miss traveling, too. I had to cancel two international flights and a local flight because of this epidemic, and I've been wondering how different things would've been if it hadn't happened. Would I be complaining about something in our AirBNB in Bangkok? Would I be complaining about the crowds as I checked out cherry blossoms in Osaka? Would I be complaining about my weight again while in Boracay for the third time this year?

Above all things, I miss my friends. I miss being able to go to Gizelle's house or go to a coffee shop to work and whine and work and whine. I used to complain about the dumbest and the littlest things. My "problems" seem so stupid now compared to the problems of our country and of the world.

I wasn't always a complainer, though. But then again, I wasn't always this privileged. There were days when I had no idea how to put food on the table for my daughter and me. I used to boil water from the sink and put the bottles in the fridge because I couldn't afford bottled water. I used to live off of other people's leftovers. And I used to be skinny as fuck coz of it.

Looking back at all of the things I just said I miss, I realize how privileged I am now to even be missing things like that. Other people aren't that lucky. But while a lot of people out there have it much worse than I do, that doesn't seem to change the way that I feel at the moment. As pointless as this post may seem to some, I also know that there are many people out there who feel the same way.

And the saddest thing is: while this quarantine may be lifted soon (hopefully), I somehow feel like things will never be the same again the way - at least not in the way that we've been used to. We will all have to adjust to a whole new kind of normal, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. Are you?


  1. I miss a lot of things as well.


  2. This blog gives me all the feels!! I miss a lot of what not's, indeed we have taken for granted some aspects in life and we're just cherishing it now. :)

  3. I feel you, Ms. Wonder Woman! Though I don't really go out that much, I'd still like to have the freedom or option to go out any time I want. It feels different, almost suffocating I guess, when you "have to" stay at home compared to the fact that "you want to" stay at home. I miss reading at my favorite park after work and getting my coffee in between breaks. I miss walking from my office to my dorm and buying art materials before my days off. Now, I have to save what little money I have just so I can buy food for God knows how long. I am one of those who fell under the "no work, no pay" policy, unfortunately. But I am trying to look at the bright side of the quarantine. At least now, I have enough time to read on my bed, write on my blog and work on my artwork - things that I always miss doing during my 'normal days'. It might be true that things would never go back to 'normal' again, and though it's quite sad, I'm sure the next chapter would be SO much better, not just for this country, but for the whole world! Let's keep on hoping that the changes in the next few weeks would be for the better, if not the best.

    I forgot one more, I also miss singing my heart out in our office elevators in the morning when I get to work and I'm alone in there. :)