I'm a khaleesi.

When I was younger, there was nothing I wanted more than to be a Disney princess. The older I got, though, the less I liked the idea of Disney princesses.

Let's face it. What do Disney princesses do, really, aside from look pretty, sing a lot and wait for their respective princes to come rescue them? (Not that I would mind getting rescued by a certain Prince… Hehe.)

The older I got, the more I realised I wasn't Disney princess material. As my mother repeatedly pointed out as I was growing up, I'm the only Rodriguez who doesn't have a nice voice. So, when my sister and my brother sang beautifully at embassy Christmas parties, I was assigned to play the piano. Lol.

Aside from that, it also became blatantly clear to me that I wasn't pretty in the way that most Filipinos define pretty, i.e. tall, skinny, and fair-skinned. As for getting rescued... I have a superhero complex that I just can't crack.

So, when Daenerys Targaryen came into my geeky life and changed my entire perspective on royalty, I knew it was time to give up the Disney mentality and embrace my inner khaleesi-ness instead.

This shirt from The Dream Shirt is perfect for me.

I generally get a lot of flack for not being a girly girl. Most of my friends are dudes; I sit with my legs wide open (when I'm not wearing a skirt); I say what's on my mind - sometimes without thinking; and I enjoy cigarettes, booze, and casual sex (so sue me!).

And I guess this is why I'm single. Apparently, my aggressiveness and straightforwardness is intimidating to guys. And I guess this is why there aren't any Disney princesses who are independent and can think for themselves, either. Because Disney knows that guys don't like that.

Or maybe I'm just bitter.

shirt from The Dream Shirt / jacket from Folded and Hung / skirt from Freeway / flats from Forever 21

I fell in love this year, only to get my heart stomped on and pissed on afterwards. It wasn't a great feeling. If anything, though, it taught me who my true friends are and it taught me to value myself and to know my worth.

I also learned that you can't choose who you fall in love with. It just happens. And if that person doesn't reciprocate your love, you need to let go, no matter how much it hurts; and just hope against hope that one day, you will eventually fall out of love with that person.

I wasted a lot of time, tears and money for this guy I fell for. I also lived in months filled with denial, dishonesty, disloyalty, disrespect, false hope and second chances turned twenty-second chances.

But at the end of the day, I fell out of love. As with the babydaddy, I just stopped caring. Sure, I still look back and think about the wasted everythings every now and then. Nasasayangan pa rin ako minsan coz everyone knows we were the greatest thing since stuffed crust. But hey. Sith happens. And life goes on. It has to go on. As Jason put it: "Giving up is not an option."

In other words, don't be a whiny Disney princess. Be a fucking khaleesi.

Photos by Josue Faustino.