Friday, January 3, 2020

"Remember: you're the girl."

I was having a conversation about dating with one of my closest friends recently and at some point in the conversation, he said, "Remember, Angel. Ikaw yung chix. Hindi siya." [Remember, Angel. You're the girl. Not him.] And while at first, that seemed like sound advice to me, I started thinking about that statement. I mean... what does that even mean?

I've always been a pretty straightforward person. When I like someone, I don't beat around the bush. I make sure he knows it. If there's one thing I hate about pseudo-relationships, it's the limited time of them.

Even if you do tell each other you like each other at some point, who's to say when you'll stop liking them? You might like someone in the beginning and then get tired of them or lose interest after sleeping with them or meet someone new while you're seeing them (all of this is what usually leads to ghosting).

So when I like someone for the meantime, I don't understand why I have to hide that. As the girl, am I supposed to wait around for something to happen? Am I supposed to wait for the guy to woo me and chase after me? Why? I'd much rather spend my time making the most of the potentially only limited time that we have together than pretend like I don't care.

I'm also a thoughtful person, in general; so when I see something that reminds me of someone, I don't hesitate to buy it and give it to them even if there isn't any special occasion. If I'm in an area and know someone's gonna be there, I make it a point to stop by and say hi. I make plans with people. I make time to send messages to people at the end of the day to ask how they are.

And this doesn't just pertain to romantic relationships, either; it pertains to all kinds of relationships, including those with workmates, relatives, and friends. When I genuinely like a person, I tell them and show them. When I want to show my appreciation for having them in my life, I do so in every way that I can.

So, in the world of dating, instead of living with the mindset that you're a girl and have to act a certain way, why not just do what you want while you can? Life's too short to hide how you feel. Life's too short to pretend like you don't care.

And on the flip side, if you've been seeing someone and suddenly realized that you're over it, grow some balls and tell them straight up. Don't just stop talking to them as if they never existed. Don't keep replying just to be polite, even though you have no intentions whatsoever to see things through.

There's nothing wrong with losing interest after sex or admitting that that is all that you were after in the first place. If anything, the mature thing to do would be to admit that so that the other person knows and can move on with their life without wondering what went wrong or what they might have done to cause a fallout.

Now that it's 2020, let's be more transparent about our feelings, shall we? Let's consider how other people might feel for a change. And let's not take anyone for granted.

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