Take the leap.

It's strange how the simplest things can trigger so many emotions in a person. To people who aren't well-versed in Korean dramas, this showbiz news will mean absolutely nothing, but the stars of 'Crash Landing on You', Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin, announced today that they are in a relationship. And this, of course, brought back all of my CLOY feelings once again.

When I started watching CLOY, I really didn't understand the hype. Hyun Bin isn't my kind of oppa and the story was super farfetched. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot of the time, too. But if I'm being completely honest, I also cried. A lot. To the point where my pillow was you-can-wring-the-tears-out-of-it wet. I even wrote a blog post about Captain Ri after watching it.

See, while I'd like people to believe that I'm a heartless, emotionless, careless bitch; the truth is that I'm a softie and a hopeless romantic at heart. I pretend to be Little Miss Strong and Independent, but the truth is I dream of having an "oppa" of my own. Someone who will be there for me, no matter what. Someone who accepts that I have a strong facade but who will let me melt into his arms and cry on his shoulder on bad days. Someone who knows that I spend 80% of my time working and doing things for myself but who will spend the other 20% being silly and being lazy with me. Someone I can drink on a beach with as we watch the sunset and talk about the most random things. Someone who doesn't need me to constantly post stuff about him, but whose existence is known. Someone who accepts that I'm a geek, a nerd, a workaholic, and above all things, a mother - and who won't judge me or make me feel bad for being all of those things.

The thing is: I know who this person is. I have a clear vision of him in my head. I know who I want this to be. He just doesn't see me in the same way. Which brings me to why CLOY had such an impact on me. There were so many quotes in it that resonated with my pretend-ice-cold heart: from Se-ri wondering if Captain Ri is pining for her the way she is pining for him to Se-ri realizing that even if she had to go back a hundred times, she would still choose to meet Captain Ri despite everything.

The characters' emotions in the show were real and relatable even though the storyline as a whole wasn't (lol), and I think I repeatedly said I hated the show because they were able to do things that I couldn't: take risks in love and jump headfirst into situations - screw the consequences.

There's one line in particular that haunts me to this day. (Naks. "Haunts" talaga?!??) In Episode 14, Captain Ri says, "Even if I have to worry about losing you every day, I want to have you in my life. Even if it breaks my heart because it's a dream that can't come true, I'd like to sincerely dream of the future." Despite knowing that there was no chance for them to be together, he still put his heart on the line. And I feel like this is something I need to learn to do in order to be happy. I constantly find myself holding back from saying things I want to because I don't want to "ruin the friendship" or "lose someone important in my life", but I am also realizing that this mentality isn't getting me anywhere.

This 2021, I hope for the courage not to be afraid to take a leap and for the strength to tell you how I feel. After all, life's too short to worry about things not going as planned. In other words... mahalin mo na ako, please. :p

Surround yourself with the right people.

I ended 2019 on an amazing note. Yes, after everything.

As my dear friends know, 2019 was a real struggle for me. I may have added a ton of new experiences to my life story, but I also experienced a huge amount of breakdowns.

I experienced the second biggest heartbreak of my life this year when my dog died. I opened myself up to dating again after what was probably the worst relationship of my life to date, just to be reminded of how unworthy I am. And my room, like my mind, is still a massive mess.

Still, all that aside, God decided to remind me of the awesome people of my life - the people I should be surrounding myself with this 2020.

I didn't grow up here and I work mostly from home, so I will be forever grateful for meeting this amazing group of people - each of which I had met in the strangest ways possible. :p Although I only see most of them during birthday celebrations due to everyone now having relationships and jobs (some of them were still in college when we met!), our recent spontaneous Christmas party reminded me that I will still always be able to turn to them for advice and a ton of laughter.

Minus one person, I will be forever grateful for the people that I work with. Who knew that meeting my boss at some random event at some random bar would bring me to the best job in the world? I recently got a job offer at a company I had once dubbed 'my dream job', but recent events showed me that I would be utterly stupid to leave all of this behind. We have the most understanding and supportive (not to mention gorgeous) team ever with people who check in and jump in to help when it matters the most. I don't find that often in life, in general. What are the chances that I would find that at work? I definitely wouldn't trade it for any amount of money in the world.

My obsession with beer pong was at an all-time high earlier this year. I even found myself in Hong Kong at one point to play beer pong. Crazy. It became such an obsession that I found myself reeeeeally getting angry whenever I lost. I would also get really anxious on days when I couldn't play, even bringing workmates out just to play water pong after meetings and even training Syrena how to play the game. I also gained a ton of weight during that period of time, so I am proud to say that I have been able to step back a little bit and bring myself back into the world of sanity. :p Still, I met some of the best people in my life thanks to that period. Special shoutout to Tav, as well, where I constantly meet amazing people of all walks of life, some of which I can't even imagine living life without anymore.

And at the risk of sounding utterly cheesy... thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers within a mere 24 hours. I've always been a very religious person, but my last boyfriend couldn't care less about God and going to church. So, during one of my lowest points last month, I asked one of my best friends if I could go to Quiapo Church with him. I won't even sugarcoat it: I BEGGED God for something. Like really, really BEGGED. And exactly 24 hours later, I found myself at peace with all of my questions answered and my heart in a good place.

This 2020, I vow to spend more time with the right people: the people who care, the people who matter, the people who put in as much effort into things as I do. And I vow not to let unworthy people back into my life. Feel free to slap me if I break these vows. :p

#RelationshipGoals: This Married Couple Works Out Together All the Time

Many a time have I been in relationships where fitness was never a part of the equation. In fact, the biggest reasons why I gained a ton of weight in the past is because of the relationships I was in.

In one particular relationship, the guy I was dating resented me for spending so much time at the gym… so I stopped. Looking back, it is one of the worst decisions of my life. I ended up gaining a whopping 35 pounds after that and the next guy I dated also didn't like it when I spent time in the gym than with him.

Fortunately, I discovered MySlim and ended up losing a ton of weight and then I discovered pole dancing, kettle bells and aerial hoops and was able to maintain my weight since then. During that journey, I also met an amazing man who is very supportive of my current gym-going habits - so much so that he waits for me at the gym sometimes and continues to support me even when I leave the gym covered in insane bruises sometimes.

And I think that's important: to have someone by your side who supports you in your fitness endeavours. After all, why should someone try to hinder you from staying fit?

This married couple takes things up a notch higher by working out together to spice up their relationship. Watch their story here:



Cute, huh? Do you have any fitness routines of your own with or without a partner? Share our stories with me. I love inspiring fitness stories! :)