Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Blessings in a Breakup

My last relationship was a failure. It was filled with anger, jealousy, lies, infidelity, and oh-so-much drama. I wasn't allowed to go out drinking, hang out with my friends or even go anywhere without asking permission first.

black shirt from Giordano / silver skirt from ASOS / black studded gladiator sandals from Zalora / Evenstar necklace from Fandom Trinkets / floral ring from Pandora

And even if I did, heck, most of the time, he'd say no anyway. So I lost touch with all of my friends, missed out on a lot of events and pretty much devoted all of my time to that little cheater.

And man, when I failed to reply to a text within a minute, he'd bombard me with angry texts or calls. Coz of One. Minute.

Why did I stay in the relationship? As I said, I lost touch with all of my friends and I felt like I had no one left but him.

Whenever I'd call someone or text someone to cry about my ex cheating on me or just being an asshole, in general, a friend would reply sometimes, but no one was really physically there to slap me back into my senses. As such, I stayed in the relationship for four months longer than I should have.

The breakup was a blessing, really. Yes, it hurt. Yes, it was full of hate and rage. But in the end, the best things happened.

I've been bonding with my friends again, all of which welcomed me back into their worlds with open arms as if I hadn't just ditched them all for a midget for almost a year. I've met and I've gotten close to so many new amazing people that I now cannot imagine my life without. And I've devoted more of my time to growing at work, as a family, and in spiritual and physical health.

Family is great. Money is good. Friendship is amazing. Lovelife has potential. I lost weight. I feel good. I couldn't ask for more.

So I guess the lesson here is not to be afraid of letting go when things aren't working out. If a job is stressing you out more than anything, resign. If a friend isn't treating you well, say goodbye. If a lover is disrespecting you, learn to let go.

Above all things, though, learn to forgive. Yes, I raged. Yes, I wanted to ruin lives. But after a while, I learned to let that rage go and forgive. I forgave him for doing me wrong and I forgave myself for having been so stupid to stick through all of the bullshit.

Eventually, all of the rage just floated into nothingness. It's true what they say about time healing all wounds. Also, focusing on the people who actually love and respect you will help you love and respect yourself - and that is the most important thing of all.


  1. glad you got out of that relationship.

  2. that's one thing... stop staying in a toxic relationship i also read about it on one blog i think it is

    hope you had a wonderful day beautiful.. keep smiling!

    Yo Momma In The Tropics