Friday, September 29, 2017

"You have no power over me."

There are some people in the world who, no matter what you do, simply have a strong hold over your heart. For me, that person is you.

No matter how much I tell myself that you're strong and independent… that I don't need you… and no matter how many times I drown my body and mind with smoke and booze, there's still that little tinge of you in my being - a hint of the warmth of your breath on my skin and a ring of your whisper in my ear. 

Very little things inspire me lately. The things I used to wake up in the morning for and the things I used to plan my world around have faded into the darkness that has consumed me yet again. I have no will to work. I have no will to eat. I have no will to live. And yet, whenever I see your face, I feel like I'm alive again.

I thought I was over you. I thought I had moved on. But every time I see your smile, every time you call my name, every time I see your name on a screen; my heart simply aches with longing. It aches and then it races and then my breath quickens and I lose my breath completely and struggle to think clearly. How did I get here? Why did I let you in like this?

And so I sit here in the middle of a crowded coffee shop with my face in my hands and tears on my palms, wondering why I am feeling this way.

"Protect your heart," a friend said. "Obviously, your head is a lost cause." But how can I protect my heart when it has been with you all this time?

And now a random smiling shot to lessen the emo:


  1. This is something amazing to read and this is what true love is called. You have expressed this thing in such a great way. And I am simply loving your work