Friday, December 27, 2013

You don't expect to get addicted to someone; it just happens.

If there's something I absolutely suck at - besides swimming, driving and cooking - it would be getting over addictions. When I get addicted to stuff, it's hard for me to get over it. Just look at my 13-year-old smoking habit to see what I mean.

Recently, I found myself getting addicted to a person instead of a vice. It sounds silly, but it's true. The thing is: you don't really expect to get addicted to someone; but when they're awesome, it just happens.

Wore this outfit after going to Fitbox with the boys.

vintage striped sweater from Giordano / horned bowler hat from Human (gift from DG) / strappy flip flops from Ipanema / STFU ring from Sister's Act

I find myself replaying our conversations in my head and, even though there aren't any emotions involved (i.e. I'm not in-love with him or anything), I find myself wanting to constantly talk to him and be around him.

This is insane coz, unless there is a movie or alcohol involved, my person-limit usually stands at about 4 hours. More than that and I start imagining shooting the person that I'm with - or myself - in the head.

I also find myself thinking about the sex a lot. Especially when I'm drunk. This is also insane coz the most times I've slept with a guy who wasn't a boyfriend is, well, once. I usually lose interest after that coz the sex simply isn't mind-blowing enough for me to care about it very much anymore after that.

That doesn't mean I sleep with every guy that I meet, though. On the contrary, I am extreeeeemely picky in terms of guys. I drop guys for the tiniest reasons… He gets clingy. He hasn't watched "Star Wars". He laughs too loud in the cinemas. He has an ugly-sounding last name. You name it, I've used it as an excuse to get away from a guy.

And yet I find myself pining for this guy's company as if my last breath depended on it. What is happening to me???

Normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem, but the thing is: he's in-love with someone else and there is now a girl in his life that I can't even begin to compete with coz of the history involved and it's not like I want to compete with her coz I'm not really a relationship kinda person.

It sounds selfish, but I want all of the things that come with a relationship but without the labels. I'm bad with texting when I'm supposed to and telling people where I am and what I'm doing within certain intervals during the day. You wanna know what I'm up to? Follow me on Twitter and Foursquare! Geesh.

Yes, I'm clearly not cut out for relationships.

Still, there are those diamonds in the rough who end up converting me to relationship-ism coz of their awesomeness. While it's too early to say if I would convert to it for this guy if given the chance, I'd go so far as to say that I'd give up all of my high heels for him if I had to. And that's saying quite a lot. Haha.

Let's hope I get over this addiction soon. Unless you enjoy reading this emo shit on my blog? :p